


The Bed Is Cold, But Your Heart Is Colder

by cantdoausername



Category: Death Note
Genre: L and Light are back, Light will probably fuck L up one day, M/M, and they're still having sex, and they're still terrible people, but first L's gonna fuck him, here we go again, like kill him or something, or is there???, there isn't feelings involved, we can never be certain with these losers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 20:42:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5262884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantdoausername/pseuds/cantdoausername
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>L and Light both know how wrong it is. But they're always falling back into a cold bed together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bed Is Cold, But Your Heart Is Colder

**Author's Note:**

> I took another shot at banging my head on my keyboard, thus creating a type of prequel to "Welcome To Our Own Personal Hell, Light-kun" but it can be read as a stand alone oneshot if you want to do that. I apologize for any mistakes in this, I'm still just one person and I can't catch them all. But regardless of that, enjoy! Or not, I don't know.

It had been an unspoken rule that L and Light would not, under any circumstance, discuss personal matters while the others in the task force were present. They were professional liars and keeping secrets were their specialties. Neither of them was even remotely comfortable with talking about something so mundane like their _feelings_. Because they were above that. They were both too proud to admit that they could feel any other emotion besides a deep-rooted rivalry. Saying that they were friends was such a deep and personal thing, and because of that they both knew it had to have been another one of their lies.

L and Light did not speak of personal matters when there were people around.

L and Light did not discuss personal matters when they were alone. Because that was the equivalent to admitting they meant more to each other than they would care to say.

Yagami Light had lost track of the number of nights he had decided to stay longer than anyone else working on the Kira case. In the beginning, it was merely to see if he could find any useful information as the hours became later. As the sky lost its bright sun and was shrouded in darkness (almost like Light’s consciousness that was constantly disintegrating with every time he wrote in the notebook) he found himself in the same room as the detective he was trying to get rid of.

The words they exchanged were always about the Kira case, always centered around justice. Perhaps they did this because talking about the case and about the law came easier. It was also possible that neither of them wanted to speak about how their day went. Why should they? L knew what Light did. He knew his suspects entire day-to-day schedule, and he knew that Light must have been killing people too. Light knew what L did. He sat in a chair, thought about Kira (thought about Light), ate something sweet, and then thought some more. There was so much that they could infer about each other, and that was a problem. Both of them were made of lies and deception, because of that understanding one another was almost frightening.

For such complex beings, they could read each other too well. _And yet it wasn’t good enough_.

Light sat in the chair closest to L, and yet at the exact same time he knew the precise distance in which he would have to sit so he wasn't too close. The kind of distance that didn't let them appear to be anything other than two people who worked together.

And now they were alone.

And Light’s chair became closer to L’s. _Even if it was only a little bit_.

It was always difficult to determine if the air around them while they were alone became tenser or more relaxed. L and Light were not comfortable around each other (or maybe they were and hiding that fact was out of common courtesy) if anything they learned to tolerate the other's presence. But at the same time, neither of them could genuinely tolerate other people besides one another.

For two egotistical people, they almost matched. And it was almost laughable how well they fit, considering they were, quite literally, at each other’s throats and plotting against one another at every hour of every day.

“If you had to pick a date in which we catch Kira, when will it be?” Light asks and is honestly curious about L’s answer. But not only that, he finds it amusing that he stated it would be the both of them capturing Kira. _It didn’t seem possible to incarcerate himself, after all._

“Realistically, Light-kun? Somewhere in between April fifth and the seventh of the same month.” L answers smoothly, without a drop of doubt in his tone. He is well aware that the date he gave was in the past, and he also knew exactly what those days signified. _He also knew Light would notice as well._

It doesn’t take very long for Light to pinpoint those dates in his memory, and he had to stop himself from rolling his eyes when he did realize. April fifth: the day in which Light goes to To-Oh University and L confronts him. April seventh: the day where they play a _friendly_ game of tennis. Light knows that L is implying that he would have liked to have caught Kira on the day they met. And that just pissed him off. “Honestly, I wonder why I ever ask you questions, Ryuzaki...”

“Is that so, Light-kun? Why is that? Do the dates I provided you with have some kind of meaning to you?”

Light doesn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes this time and scoffing quietly (he knew that he shouldn’t show so many reactions to what L said, but it was too late to change that now). “As a matter of fact, they do. But, you already knew that.”

Their conversation was veering off of the path of simply about the case and it was becoming more about them. It was alarming, yes. However, an unspoken rule could be broken from time to time. It wasn’t as if they weren’t already too tangled up in the mess they had created. Why not make things worse?

“Do I now… It seems the dates have escaped me, forgive me.” L said, and there was such a minuscule amount of teasing in his voice that most people would never pick up on it. However, Light wasn’t _most people_. “Would you mind informing me of what they mean to you?”

Light was rarely someone who took his anger out publically, he wasn’t even the type to show anger in the first place when there were other people around him. But punching L in the face seemed like a wonderful idea… And yet he refrained from doing that. He did not want to drop his perfectly crafted mask of the perfect student. “You can’t recall the date, Ryuzaki? How incredibly odd… I had always been under the impression that you had a fantastic memory, especially if you could pick such specific dates.”

“Is that what you thought, Light-kun? That is interesting indeed… And not far off the mark either.” L did have an impeccable memory, that much was very true. However, that did not mean he wanted to say why those dates were significant (but really he just wanted to hear Light say it). Besides, shouldn’t Light already know?

“Not far off the mark,” Light mutters under his breath, there were times when he just couldn’t stand the words coming out of L’s mouth. “If that’s your entire response on this subject then I think I’ll be heading back home.” He says, standing up and putting his jacket back on. Light doesn’t get far; L quickly grabs his wrist and keeps him from going anywhere.

“It’s rather early for you to leave. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Light knows it’s early, he normally doesn’t go back to his house until much later. They were both aware of the time, and staying for just a bit longer was exactly what L was hinting at. Light should refuse such advances, rip his arm from L’s grasp and leave, but he doesn’t. Instead, he takes a step closer and lets L drop his hold.

“I think you might be right. There’s still something that needs to be done, _L_.”

The process of making their way to L’s bedroom was always such a hazy experience, and neither of them would be able to say how they got there. It was filled with hungry kisses and trying to keep a conscious effort to not rip off each other’s clothes.

As they are in the safety of L’s unmonitored room, Light is pushed down onto the bed. He always had to make note of how cold the unused sheets were. L never slept, so why would the bed be warm and inviting? It was cold room fit for two cold hearted people.

It never took long for L to pull off Light’s clothes, and tossing them to the floor was almost like a reflex. He found himself undressing Light before he even thought about doing anything else because seeing the mass murderer naked was much more entertaining than seeing himself without his clothes. He knew that Light would love to hear how stunning he looked, but L would never compliment him the way he wanted him to.

Light was fully aware of how he must look. His chest was heaving as he tried to calm his breath. His face was becoming flushed due to arousal (maybe even embarrassment too, but he could never admit something like that). He knew he was a very attractive person, someone who deserved to be worshiped. He wondered if L even deserved to touch a God like him in this way, but as L was kissing his neck in all the right ways he thought: _Yes, for now he can._ L could make him feel so damn good, and he didn’t think anyone else could.

No one else could match Light on any level. But L could, and he was the only one who would be able to do that.

It was a complete rarity that they had sex facing each other (it was too personal, and they were not advocates for bringing feelings into this), and Light tended to find himself on his hands and knees, pressing his face into the sheets underneath him. This was better because he could muffle his screams of pleasure, he didn’t have to look at the detective who was buried deep inside of him, he didn’t have to think about how much they should have never gotten involved like this.

L sometimes wondered why they had crossed a line, and he could never come up with a concrete answer. He could always say that they did this because it was the easier to keep his friend close (keep his enemy even closer), but that wasn’t what it was. They did this because if they were going to destroy each other then they might as well hold nothing back. He didn’t hate fucking Light. He didn’t hate hearing his suspect muffle his moans by biting down on the sheets. He didn’t hate how Light would arch his back and grip the sheets when the pleasure was getting to his head.

Maybe he _should_ hate it.

Then again, maybe he should let himself feel something.

Or maybe those feelings would kill L one day. He could not be certain just yet.

L leaned over Light’s body, whispering words of praise into the murderer’s ear in languages that he did not know. He told him how perfect he sounded. He said how good it felt to be inside him. L said all the things that would send Light over the edge and into a state of pure bliss, and he said it all in languages that Light did not understand.

“Wha… Ngh… L…” If Light could say something, anything that wasn’t another variation of garbled Japanese and moans then he might tell L to _fuck off and speak in a language that he actually knew_. But he was also aware that L would never do that. So, he embraced the fact that L was saying _something_ that he didn’t want Light to understand.

Eventually, L did switch back to speaking in Japanese. He thought that he had pissed Light off enough for now. With one last hard thrust, one last bite mark on Light’s sensitive neck, he finally gave Light the praise he longed to hear.

“You feel... so... marvelous… Light-kun…”

That was all it took to send Yagami Light over the edge. Words that told him how perfect he was, how much L enjoyed being inside him. He loved hearing it because he knew that it had to be true. Light knew that he was perfect, and L would never find another person who was equal to Light (and in the back of Light’s mind he knew there wouldn’t be someone equal to L).

L always came after Light did (making Light laugh internally because it would be _L_ who died first. He would be the loser in this game, and he would be the one coming in second place). And he always wore protection. They could say that it was because safe sex was important. However, that wasn’t even close to the reason. They could both agree that if L came inside of Light, it would be personal. It would be like they were in a committed relationship and they actually cared about each other. Which was something they couldn’t afford to do.

Impersonal was the way this had to be.

They did not look at each other during sex.

L and Light didn’t whisper sweet nothings into the other’s ear.

It was all just an addition to their sick game. And that was just fine.

There was never much talking after they had sex. It would be a shocker if they even looked at each other afterward. L would pull out, get off of Light, take off the condom and throw it into the trash. Light would get up, and start to redress himself.

This time, Light was lucky enough to get a call from his father as he finished putting his belt back onto his pants. “Hello… Yes, father, I’m fine… I was just staying late to work on the case with Ryuzaki… I am aware of the late hour and I am on my way back now…” Light sounded so calm as he spoke to his father. There was no indication that he had just been fucked by L. No one would ever know that. He hung up and put his phone away. He finished getting his clothes back on and he walked over the door.

But before he opened the door, Light turned around and looked at L.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Ryuzaki.”

Light left to go home, and L was alone in a cold bed once again.

The bed was always so cold, and he thought that when they had sex it might warm up. However, that might be a ridiculous notion. Their hearts were so cold and unfeeling that warming up a bed was impossible. The bed might be cold, but their hearts were colder.

End.

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the end. Are you proud of yourself? Yes? No? Let me know, please. I am so lonely.  
> There are more of these fics to come, and I have some planned out in my head. So, prepare yourself for that. 
> 
> And I can't leave without a shameless plug (who do you think I am?)  
> Follow me on Tumblr at destroydeathnotebeforeitkillsme.tumblr.com for more Death Note bullshit.


End file.
